Anonymous Saiyuki "Gen" Meme!

[nina_vendredi]

Stolen from vom_marlowe who stole it from toxictattoo. Requested by redbrunja

Feel free to pimp this out.

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Have Fun.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai trying to decide which of them has to give Goku 'the big sex talk' (having the talk is optional)

Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk)

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I hope you like this!

“Lirin?” Sanzo stared at Hakkai in what could only be described as absolute horror. “Lirin as in, Kougaji’s brat-sister?”
Hakkai’s smile was noticeably strained as he nodded, gaze shooting over Sanzo, trying to locate his gun. “I’m afraid so, Sanzo, I noticed them when I was in town. They where… Holding hands.”
“Holding hands, huh?” Gojyo grinned. “Well go monkey!”
The fan landed and Gojyo and Sanzo glared at each other. Gojyo, of course, was the first to look away. He huffed. “I’m only saying the monkey could’ve done worse, you asshole, with Lirin being a princess and all, ‘s no reason to hit me!”
“You must be wrong Hakkai, it can’t have been Goku,” Sanzo’s voice carried a timbre in it that told them in no uncertain terms that whatever they said, he wasn’t going to believe them anyway. Goku was not having a girlfriend. It was fucking impossible and that was that.
“Well, I must say I wasn’t quite expecting it either, but I am really quite sure it was Goku, Sanzo, I am, after all, quite familiar with how he looks…”
If looks could kill, Hakkai would’ve been dead on the ground right about then.
“Goku does not have a girlfriend, and specially not that brat of Kougaji’s! He’s too young for that.”
“But Sanzo I really-“
“Oh come on you stupid monk,” Gojyo interrupted Hakkai, “Yeah he’s still a kid, but if you think about it, he’s way old enough to start lookin’ at girls! And Hakkai only saw them holding hands, it’s not like they’re fucking like bunnies or anything… Or like monkeys for the matter!” he added as he ducked away for the bullet wizzing past his head. “Get a grip you stupid monk!”
“Now, now,” Hakkai sussed, “While he could’ve said it in more… Diplomatic ways, Gojyo is right Sanzo… Goku does have the age to start showing interest in the fairer sex. I wonder though…”
“Yes..?” Sanzo sounded like his nerves where ready to give in and just have a breakdown, but he did seem to spend some effort into not shooting either of them.
“Well, what I was wondering, Euhmn, what I was going to say, actually… Sanzo, did you ever, well, talk to him?”
Sanzo glared at him, “Of course I talk to him! Don’t be stupid Hakkai, I know you aren’t.”
“Ah, well than that, at least, is out of the way… It would be horribly inconvenient if Goku didn’t know the etiquette of the more… Physical aspects of a relationship.”
“What the fuck are you implying?”
Gojyo, in the meanwhile, was grinning like a cat who got the cream. “Hakkai, if you mean sex, just call it sex! And I don’t think our worldly monk had that talk with Goku,”.
Sanzo scowled at him.
“Well, have you?”
“… No…”
“See?” Gojyo said, pushing away the barrel that was pushed against his head with practiced ease, “Hakkai’s right though, I mean, if he wants to fuck her, he has to know what to do first right, and about condoms and stuff…”
“Well than you go talk to him, if you want that so bad! Pervert,” Sanzo glared at him.
“Oh, hey, no fucking way monk! Aren’t you supposed to be like, his father-figure or something? You can do it! I mean, come on, it’s Goku! I ain’t gonna explain to him where to put his cock and-“
“That’s quite enough Gojyo, thank you,” Hakkai gave his best friend a meaningful look before looking to a fuming – and kind of purple really – Sanzo. “I really do agree with him Sanzo, I mean, would you want Goku to learn how to properly treat a lady from Gojyo? That really isn’t such a good or… Er, ethical idea don’t you think?”

Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk) 2

[(Anonymous)]

“Hey! I happen to treat my ladies very well ya hear! Alright! I’ll do that talk-thing!”
”Oh no you perverted kappa, you will do no such thing! Like hell are you corrupting Goku!”
“Worried, priest?”
“Yes, yes I am! Hakkai, you do it,”.
“Me? But I really should think… You, as Goku’s father-figure, should do this particular thing…”
“You’re his teacher, you teach him things, you can teach him this, too. Or better yet, you can tell him to stay away from that damn brat!”
“Awww, are we jealous? And why can’t you do it, huh? Scared? Or don’t you have any experience? Ah I can’t believe it Hakkai, the priest is abiding one vow, one, and it’s the vow a chastity! No wonder he’s so trigger-happy all the time!”
“You want to die, you asshole?” The gun pushed against Gojyo’s temple again, “I’d be all too happy to help you! I-“ Sanzo really did look ready to kill him right than and there.
“Now, now, I really don’t think shooting Gojyo is going to help any Sanzo, you might want to refrain from doing so… Now let us see… Why don’t we vote, hmm? The one with the most votes talks to Goku,”.
The other two nodded.
“I vote for me,” Gojyo said, “After all, at least I have experience and don’t want to keep the kid a life-long virgin! He’s no monk, monk, he can fuck someone even if you don’t!”
Sanzo glared at him. “Hakkai, you do it, I really don’t trust the idiot to do something like that!”
“Aha, well, I really think that it’d be best if you did it Sanzo… After all, you are the one he trusts most and needs support from…”
Gojyo muttered something that sounded suspiciously like ‘support, riiiight…’.
“And thus,” Hakkai continued, “I think we are even. So is there anyone willing to change their vote?”
Silence ensued.
“Alright than… Any other propositions?”
“We could do rock-paper-scissors on it? Loser talks to Goku?” Gojyo said offhandedly.

They stared at the three scissors. It was the 32nd time they played the game, and the 32nd time they all had the same thing. “This. Is not. Working.” Sanzo growled, staring at his hand with intense distaste on his face.
“Well…” Hakkai said, cautiously, “Maybe, you know, we could talk to him together, you know, with the three of us. That way everyone helps.”
Gojyo nodded. “And than there’s that…” he said, nodding.
“Right, whatever,”.

Goku looked up at the three man standing in front of him, all looking at him in distinctly sinister ways. “What, er, is the matter?”
“We’d like to have a talk with you Goku,” Hakkai started, smile so strained Goku quickly looked away.
“Yeah,” Gojyo was smirking in a way that meant no good for him, “There’s some stuff, you need to know, see,”.
“You need to stay the fuck away from her!” Sanzo growled.
“Sanzo, we agreed that we where not going to-“
More, Goku didn’t hear. He’d already fled. He was due to meet Lirin by the city-gate and they where going to go taste that interesting sort of sushi that they had in this town. Whatever they wanted to talk about, he didn’t want to hear it, and it was much more fun with Lirin anyway!

Hope you liked it, would love to know what you thought!

Re: Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk) 2

[(Anonymous)]

Not the requester but, that was fun! Exactly how Sanzo would respond. :)

Re: Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk) 2

[(Anonymous)]

*grumble grumble* Goku can not have a girlfriend, I forbid him, he's too young, he's too Goku and I can't handle the fact that he's actually growing up and liking things like girlfriends *grumble*
Gojyo *slaps Sanzo on the head and gets shot*
Goku *runs off*

Re: Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk) 2

[(Anonymous)]

Also not the requester, but zang, was that ever fun! Great voices for all of the guys, and such a believable scenario. Thank you! :)

Re: Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk) 2

[(Anonymous)]

^-^ Glad you liked it! And I'm happy you think I got their voices right! :D
I'm a total slash-lover, but can't help but think that Goku and Lirin together equals uber CUTE =^-^=

Re: Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk) 2

[(Anonymous)]

Hee! Thanks was excellent, so cute and funny =)

Re: Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk) 2

[(Anonymous)]

Yay! Glad you liked it!^-^

Re: Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk) 2

[(Anonymous)]

I am the requester, and yes this was what I was hoping for! This was a lot of fun. Your Hakkai voice is spot on. Thank you very much (also helps if i remember the anonymous button, head desk)

Re: Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk) 2

[(Anonymous)]

Ooooh but I'd so love to know who you aaaaare XD

I'm really, really glad you liked it! And yay! I got Hakkai right! :D He's so HARD!!! XD