Anonymous Saiyuki "Gen" Meme!

[nina_vendredi]

Stolen from vom_marlowe who stole it from toxictattoo. Requested by redbrunja

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Comments

Talking to Goku (Or, The Big Sex Talk)

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I hope you like this!

“Lirin?” Sanzo stared at Hakkai in what could only be described as absolute horror. “Lirin as in, Kougaji’s brat-sister?”
Hakkai’s smile was noticeably strained as he nodded, gaze shooting over Sanzo, trying to locate his gun. “I’m afraid so, Sanzo, I noticed them when I was in town. They where… Holding hands.”
“Holding hands, huh?” Gojyo grinned. “Well go monkey!”
The fan landed and Gojyo and Sanzo glared at each other. Gojyo, of course, was the first to look away. He huffed. “I’m only saying the monkey could’ve done worse, you asshole, with Lirin being a princess and all, ‘s no reason to hit me!”
“You must be wrong Hakkai, it can’t have been Goku,” Sanzo’s voice carried a timbre in it that told them in no uncertain terms that whatever they said, he wasn’t going to believe them anyway. Goku was not having a girlfriend. It was fucking impossible and that was that.
“Well, I must say I wasn’t quite expecting it either, but I am really quite sure it was Goku, Sanzo, I am, after all, quite familiar with how he looks…”
If looks could kill, Hakkai would’ve been dead on the ground right about then.
“Goku does not have a girlfriend, and specially not that brat of Kougaji’s! He’s too young for that.”
“But Sanzo I really-“
“Oh come on you stupid monk,” Gojyo interrupted Hakkai, “Yeah he’s still a kid, but if you think about it, he’s way old enough to start lookin’ at girls! And Hakkai only saw them holding hands, it’s not like they’re fucking like bunnies or anything… Or like monkeys for the matter!” he added as he ducked away for the bullet wizzing past his head. “Get a grip you stupid monk!”
“Now, now,” Hakkai sussed, “While he could’ve said it in more… Diplomatic ways, Gojyo is right Sanzo… Goku does have the age to start showing interest in the fairer sex. I wonder though…”
“Yes..?” Sanzo sounded like his nerves where ready to give in and just have a breakdown, but he did seem to spend some effort into not shooting either of them.
“Well, what I was wondering, Euhmn, what I was going to say, actually… Sanzo, did you ever, well, talk to him?”
Sanzo glared at him, “Of course I talk to him! Don’t be stupid Hakkai, I know you aren’t.”
“Ah, well than that, at least, is out of the way… It would be horribly inconvenient if Goku didn’t know the etiquette of the more… Physical aspects of a relationship.”
“What the fuck are you implying?”
Gojyo, in the meanwhile, was grinning like a cat who got the cream. “Hakkai, if you mean sex, just call it sex! And I don’t think our worldly monk had that talk with Goku,”.
Sanzo scowled at him.
“Well, have you?”
“… No…”
“See?” Gojyo said, pushing away the barrel that was pushed against his head with practiced ease, “Hakkai’s right though, I mean, if he wants to fuck her, he has to know what to do first right, and about condoms and stuff…”
“Well than you go talk to him, if you want that so bad! Pervert,” Sanzo glared at him.
“Oh, hey, no fucking way monk! Aren’t you supposed to be like, his father-figure or something? You can do it! I mean, come on, it’s Goku! I ain’t gonna explain to him where to put his cock and-“
“That’s quite enough Gojyo, thank you,” Hakkai gave his best friend a meaningful look before looking to a fuming – and kind of purple really – Sanzo. “I really do agree with him Sanzo, I mean, would you want Goku to learn how to properly treat a lady from Gojyo? That really isn’t such a good or… Er, ethical idea don’t you think?”